My Summer Vacation

I am so greedy for my summer vacation, but it somwhow is the best way to burn the money. S.R is moving to D.C next month. As I mentioned in the previous dairy, it is stressful to be in my situation without a stable income and feel uncertain about my future. Although my goal may not be changed in a few years, I sometimes doubt myself if i am dreaming to be a FA? This ummer vacation, plenty of my friends flew to US to enjoy their lives. Seeing their uplated photos on fb, i am so jealous of them cuz those are the lives i have been desired so much!! Howoever, since i have been reading the book and the thoery of Ho' oponopono, "The univers is displayed as how you think and build in your way," which is to ask you to have a positive thinking even to your own vision, so i decided to switch my thought to conceive of the days i am in US, visit the places i wanna be. Speak to evil of my summer vacation, i realy want to do a lot of things such as taking dance class, yogo class, do exercises, riding my bike to many places, meet new friends, or even just seat down randomly to finish a book. I have bought 4 books crazily so far, even though i am not sure if i will be able to finish all or not, but i promise to myself, i will finish sometime this year. BTW, if it's possible, i'd like to be remedied by the psychal therapist to see my problem and how to improve it.

Murmuring

One day, one of my cute students asked me, "Being an English was your dream when you was a child?" To be honest, I was thinking my an other dream once he asked me. To count my dreams, I have had three dreams; one is to be a performing artist, and i have fulfilled it. Indeed, the second one is to be an English teacher just as Margret, who was my rolemodle, and I am executing my dream  right now. These two are the dreams i have dreamed and wanted them so bad, but now, I have another dream, which is to be an FA. I deeply know that it's not easy to attain and work on, but i think i was bron this way to serve ppl, to see the world, and to live for my life. sometimes, i smile in front of the mirror thinking of wearing the uniform and greeting to the passagers. I really want it so bad, and this is the only thing i will always vision the day i am really doing this. Dear the univers, could you pls do me a favor to help me achieve this dream? i will not let you down and change the value of the world or even to my friends, family, or anything although I know ppl may be changed in this luxary enviroment. I promise myself, i will alwasy be who i am and apprciate this best gift ever for all of my life. I am willing to help those ineeded ppl, situations, being caring, apprciated, and paying back with heavy price. Only if it makes my dreams come ture!!!

My wings

    Never think of who will visit my blog and leave comments to encourage me. I write this blog for practicing my Eng and find a place to tell secrets that i never want to mention even to my friends or family. Things have to be changed a lot since the day i began to write in 2010. I'm now a part-time BA student and part-time Eng teacher, and now, I am having my summer vacation, not traveling to anywhere although that is my dream, to study aboad or living in a exotic country for a while. My life has been so simple since i left entertainment industry, where was a paradise for me to fulfill my dream. Unfortunately, I am no longer useful for anyone there. Eventhough it was somehow pretty pathetic to me at the very begining, I underwent a very special experience that most ppl might not even have this great opportunity, so i guess I should be apprciated and satisfied of what i have come over so far. To be honestly, it's still painful when i see someone who is being so welcomed and sucessful in that industry and make plenty of money meanwhile enjoy their career and lives. I don't know if i am even more talented or apt than them for doing this or not, but I do jealous off those ppl who own something I want so bad. In a word, this fantastic dream has already fade away, and what left to me is the cruel reality i have to face it.

    Seeing that going back to school, i sometimes question myself, "Is this a good choice?" "am i doing the right thing?" because i deeply know that I'm not the person who can ignore the problem of my family. One of the reason that i decided going back to school and get a BA degree is to boost the opportunity to get a better job in a long-term vision and give my family a better better life, so I have to be strong and push myself harder to attain my goal and achieve my destination. Aparrently, I haven't done any thing fabulously that is worth to mention, also i am even still confused what I am going to be in the furture. It's stressful when you see your friends getting theirselves settled down,got a good position then developed to a better pormotion, but you got nothing and even be more and more confused and lost yourself. Still, i have a new goal. It's my dream. I have great motivation for getting that job, BUT i've failed more than twice. CX for two, SA for one, and SNS for one. CX is my idea company. I still remember the interviews i got to the finaly stage with great ambitions and highly expectation then i fell off from the top to the bottom and complained about why i am not the candidate who got the ticket. I ran to the tolet and let my trears drop down dramatically then inhale a very deep breathe then step out The Westin Taipei. I cried for it but waiting for the next recruitment. I really wanna fly sooooo bad!! I believe it would be a very suitable job for me for the fact that i am so independent with great adjustment, i am not afraid of jet leg, and i really love traveling and exploring the world. Moreover, i wanna give my family a better life once i get this job with excellent payment. I now i can do a lot of things and enable to do whatever i want as long as i have the money. I read FA's blog to see what the life in CX will be, to see thier pics with amazing uniforms with gorgeous makeup and beautiful smile. When is my turn? When can i put on that uniform and flying in the sky? When i can give my family a better better life to deliver my spectacular apprciation to honer my parents. I am willing to sacrifice myself as long as i could give my family a better life. Being as a FA is the best way to fulfill both of my desires. Therefore, dear god, plz make my dreams come ture and give me a pair of wings, I will not let you down!! by the time i graduate, i will have more opportunities to apply for this position in so many airlines, so plz wipe out your eyes and hear my voice!!! I am saying straight from my heart!!!